Just being

Sometimes i think, being yourself can be the hardest thing to do. Because as you grow, you learn about gratitude, politics, grey areas, conservation. It's hard to just pack up your stuff, pick up your suitcase and just follow your heart.

I always thought freedom is free, until now. It takes gut to be free, to act as your heart desires. Of course i can, but i feel so tied up to my past, people who care for me and who have been there for me through it all. People who have been so truthful, loyal to me - i feel it my responsibility to do the same for them

Sounds honorable, but absolutely not. When i'm being completely truthful to myself, i know, deep down i'm just a very selfish person. I have this habit of turning things into my convenience, with the help of people who genuinely care for me; and then giving others the impression that i actually sacrifice along the way.

I'm a horrible person.

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I know, as adults we learn to bend, to be flexi to change / environment, life in general. We become more conservative, our actions repetitive, our thoughts and feelings restrained.

Maybe one day, when i'm feeling like a child again, i'll tell you all my thoughts. Till then, i'm just surviving.

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On a lighter touch, I passed my MRCPCH part 1! That was the main reason i blogged actually, to mark a milestone :P