like the very blurry coke freezer

There have always been times when i cant stand myself, when i feel like a complete sucky loser, when everything around me is just super blurry. For the past one week i'm like the inner surface of a zero-degree coke freezer, where once opened and then exposed to the room air, turned superrrrrr misty and blurry.

I'm like that. Like every one time i'm asked to do something, i just can't. :( WTH

These damn brain freeze moments have gotta stop. Sigh.

Im starting to miss home :'( My superdaddy, my mom, my little brothers.. Whatever hurts them hurts me. 

All these feelings.. Anyhow it's not like i'm in a very bad position. My workload by all means has been light, i just gotta do it quickly. I'm actually quite pissed at myself. I have always thought that i'm quite fast at doing things, like how i know i'm good at last-minute work. But for the past one week i have been anything but fast.

The SIP took like a week to get used to things, and look at her now. Why am i not like tht sigh. On a side note, i'm not and will never be ashamed of my own university, so what if i'm from malaysia, i may not be as good, or as close as being just average when compared to the local grads, but i'm so absolutely sure that there are still people from my uni that can be as good as or even better than the local grads here. So screw the comparison.

Anyway it's not like i'm being compared. People here have been nice to me. Really it surprises me :) THANK YOU to those who have been patient with me, i will most definitely do better! To think of some of the things i've done or said, *fringed*

I like it here, despite all that has happened.