Of forgotten security and secrets between strangers.

Sometimes you go to shops or markets where they give you small samples of the food to taste. The past weekend felt similar to that. I think i took a lot of things for granted, like how safe it feels like to be with your family, like there’s nothing you have to worry about simply because they're there and there’s this firm reassurance that even if something bad happens they will take care of it for you.

Living by yourself, you won’t notice the walls of defence you've built subconsciously. Well just because you're by yourself and there’s only you looking out for yourself most of the time.

I felt the difference, in that weekend, i could feel the walls disappear in that weekend and yes i was a tad bit more vulnerable but i knew i'd be safe.

***

Alone. Taking the train, searching ways, boarding transit, taking brunch, all alone.

I wasn't worried about safety issues, because apart from the short-lasting downpour it was one fine, bright day. And thieves and kidnappers don't usually commit negative crimes in daytime. The only thing that bugged me was the possibility of me not reaching to the correct venue on time. Because i've never been to sentral alone, and to get to KLIA express from sentral's monorail station, was a challenge to me.

Luckily there was a crowd standing near me inside the train, and each one of them was carrying a luggage along so i decided to follow them from behind once the train reached sentral. Thankfully they led me correctly, or i actually followed correctly.

:)

Inside the train i opted for a quiet seat alone, and there was a malay middle-aged man sitting right in front of me. He had a 3-5 year old child with him, and they both were conversing in English. Right next to them was a foreigner, a british / american, blond hair blue eyes huge size. I had a glance at them all, took my CVS notes out and started to read.

Not too long after that, the malay guy shifted to a standing position to my right, and inside the palms of both his hands he was clutching tightly on some huge DSLR. He lowered his eyes down onto the camera to match its eyepiece, and spoke for his son's attention. He said something like, ' look here look here i'm a photographer and daddy's gonna take pictures of you.' Something like that. Then he went on taking shoots after shoots of his son's pics, until his son finally protested.

:D

I couldn't see the expression on his son's face, because the seat in front blocked my view of him, but his words, i could hear them quite clearly. Annoyingly he said, 'enough la daddy enough' Right in that instant i lifted my head up to look around and laughed, and somehow by chance i took in a glance of that foreigner too and he happened to be laughing too and at that brief moment we shared a smile and an understanding that such was the simple humour and joy of life. Our gaze held for that brief moment, and then we returned to our roles as strangers, where I continued browsing through my CVS and he continued sipping on his papercup of coffee /tea.

25 mins after i reached KLIA, and i did what i usually did. Checked in, bought packets of chocolates, and walked into the departure hall. I actually decided to walked in to the departure hall hours earlier than the boarding time because i wanted to laze in the cafes i've always passed by upon arrivals. Like 1901 burger kings and Jonker Walk cafe.

I first dined at Burger King, had a whoppie burger and a can of diet coke and there i proceeded to 1901 for a sausage burger. Hours later i made a detour back to gate B, and headed to Jonker Walk cafe. I love Jonker Walk cafe. :D The waiter's awweesomme! And the food there's #1. I had a cup of honeyed coffee, a caypot of asam laksa tenggiri, a set of roti kahwin, i lovee roti kahwin, and 2 soft-boiled eggs. And all those food, they only cost me bout 15 bucks :D :D :D , because the nice waiter there at the counter gave me a 30% discount he's a very nice guy!

***

Ohya. I just sat for a test today. On cardiovascular module. :(((( Was.. hard as usual so let's just wait for the results. Hmm.. Also went out for lunch today at times square with my buddies, 1st and 3rd years :) EOM test was an okie nightmare, lunch was okie too and people for lunch were double okie the only thing that wasn't okie was the Lucky Dragonfruit drink i ordered which tasted like antibiotics.

Oh. I've gained some weight during my mid-sem break at home. Bout 3-4 kgs i don't actually know because i don't have the guts to go weigh myself because the last time i weighed, on the 5th day of my hols at home, i'd gained bout 2.5 kgs; i'd been at home for my mid-sem break for 10 days so you do the math.

:(

Always repeat the same daymn thing over and over. Rushing for datelines at the very last minute, gaining unnecessarily weight during hols secondary to compulsive eating, and then getting all remorse and upset for all the bad things that've happened in response to own's irresponsibly horrendous behaviours. Damn.

I'd actually vowed to change for so many times but to no avail every single time i'm getting sorta sick of myself already.

I miss home. At times when we all sat on the couch together to watch the magic show on 701 and PS man and Pasta on 324. At times when i talked and joked with my brother late at night, at times when i acted dumb with my dad, at times when i teased my mom, at times when we had our weekly dinner out on fridays. I miss being carefree, to not having to worry about a single thing.

If only we remember the pure and simple, life will always be enough.

22 more days! :)