Broken dreams.

I had such a wonderful dream last night, and it really upsets me that i've almost forgotten the entire dream-line.


I dreamed about going on a quest, in search of something. And the only thing I found was a crumpled note, scrawling with lots of geometrical drawings and unfamiliar doodles. I remember my partner falling off a cliff into the sea, and the teary dismay I felt. I remember sailing on an orange lifeboat alone and finally getting to an unknown beach with caves and resorts and people on vacation.


I dreamed about being left alone by the people there. I remember the helplessness of the entire situation.


Sometimes, the selfish and tired part of me would wish for myself the diagnosis of some terminal illness. At least then, dying won't be an option. I would have no more options to be pondered on. No past regrets, no more concerns about the future, simply because there would be none.


But i'm also certain that sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. If i choose to quit now, what happens then?